I’ve noticed a pattern- women who aren’t boring or whose lives perhaps follow a certain day in and day out routine, seem to think they are. Women who remain curious about the world, continue to explore life’s pleasures, wish to travel, laugh easily and push themselves in some way or another are never boring. Perhaps this self doubt arises from the glamorization of the ‘other’ in social media, the ‘other’ who is succeeding in realms you are not, even if you are in those that are a priority to you. If you decide to be a stay at home mom that is your choice, if you decide to not get married and travel the world instead that is also your choice, if you decide to be a workaholic that is your choice but I won’t lie, you’re fucking crazy if it’s not work you love. The only place true boredom arises from are the places where there is no choice and no growth, at all. Stagnation in the most extreme is where boring people live- is that you?
I never seem to hear men lament they are boring though a good number of them most certainly are – trust me, about half of the small fraction I’ve been out with were. It is usually the self-aware woman who thinks she is boring because there are many facets of herself that she wishes to develop but has a certain priorities that take up the majority of her time. For many of us this is family and employment, with the rare sprinkling of hobbies or travel. The thing is women KNOW that people don’t really find other people’s families as fascinating as their own, unless you happen to be on an Oxygen or Bravo show where everyone’s middle name is Drama. My friends who lament they are boring tend to have rather healthy family lives, which makes me think of Tolstoy “happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in it’s own way,” and question that if you’re fortunate enough to avoid family drama does that make you boring? Or is it just the fact that every day follows the same formula? Or are you bored? Or perhaps made bored by others whose lives are so similar to your own you can’t help but imagine yours must also be?
Boring is something Americans are very uncomfortable with- we are a go go go society where many feel the more you’ve done the better you are. Life is not a competition. Our ancestors knew the importance of boredom, it offered time for contemplation and the act of simply being. To me the point of life is to be- it’s really simple, just exist, experience all that you can of what it means to be human. When was the last time you had a day without a to do check list, or the nagging feeling you are being naughty by staying in bed? Probably just the other day, but why do we feel guilt about the act of simply existing without constant motion or momentum?
Why is it that women, who enjoy their lives, think they are such bores? I myself question whether I am boring because I am not as busy as many of my friends who travel or get secondary degrees or compete in sports but when I say this out loud I get a resounding no! Not just from those around me but from my inner voice, the part of me that is the TRUE me. I think that the part of you that questions how fascinating your life is, is the same part of you that calls you fat when you gain weight and is mean to you about something you have no control over- it’s that unreasonable voice that is there to create a shell so you can’t get hurt by the outside world because you’ve already been hurt by the inner one.
Can we just all agree that boredom is not bad? It is part of nature. Your life isn’t boring because you’re not a multi-millionaire philanthropist on a tour for her book that was just optioned (my dream life!) And even if it is boring, is that a bad thing?
too fat to be italian 